


What a way to start a vacation...

by Left4Shade-Due (ShadeDuelist)



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Doctor/Patient, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, M/M, Mental Instability, Mildly Dubious Consent, Psychosis, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 13:17:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeDuelist/pseuds/Left4Shade-Due
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor Nick Delaney really needed the week off to get away from it all - most of all his patient, Ellis Hawke, who's delusional, paranoid, and clingy to the point of it being an ethical problem.  Then again, Doctor Nick might not even have a problem if he wasn't so damn affected by his patient's inappropriate behaviour...</p><p>Written for my sweet hick Ellis as a gift for Christmas <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a way to start a vacation...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bullshiftersellis/unhingedhick](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bullshiftersellis%2Funhingedhick).



Doctor Nicolas Delaney didn’t consider his job as a psychiatrist specializing in anxiety disorders the worst in the world.  Sure, there were a lot of bona fide nutcases he got assigned, like Jeanie Grey, the young woman with MPD that either behaved like a nymphomaniac, an elderly lady with severe phobias or a thirty-five year old man with PTSD and neurotic tendencies… but most of the time, his job was treating the more severe cases of OCD and agoraphobia in the Dawnbrook Psychiatric Institution.  As it stood, he had a caseload of three outpatients, one newly released inpatient to follow up (Jeanie Grey’s anti-anxiety meds and the lithium regimen she’d been prescribed were keeping her outside a good measure longer than she’d been gone from the Institution before) and only one inpatient.

However, that one inpatient was more than a handful – severe psychosis, paranoid schizophrenia, and abandonment issues so profound and serious he clung to the two people left in his life like they would disappear into thin air any second.  His best friend’s death had triggered the paranoid delusions, which – a first for Nick in his ten years in the Institution – caused him to believe that the world was going through a zombie-virus breakout.  And as a result he was so afraid most of the time that actual treatment was secondary to protecting him from himself – the ‘zombies’ hurting him was in his head, but his injuries did not come out of thin air, self-inflicted whenever his psychosis became difficult to manage.

Nick had lost count of how many times he’d had to restrain his southern patient, get him tied to his bed and dosed up with so much benzodiazepine that he slept for three days, or how many times he’d come into the room to find Ellis’ fingers caked with blood and his face scratched open, tears running over the wounds and pain in the young man’s eyes as he pleaded with Nick to _please, please, please make the zombies go away, make it all go away, make the pain go away_. 

And yet, the times where caring for Ellis had started to border on breaking every ethical code in the book came to mind clearly, despite the amount of times it had happened so far.  Moments where Ellis couldn’t sleep, wouldn’t sleep, unless he was there – and not in a chair next to the bed, oh no, _in the bed with_ him…  Moments where the southerner sat on his lap innocently, nuzzling him, even _kissing_ him…  The very thought of those moments – seconds, minutes, hours, sometimes entire days of inappropriate behavior – gave Nick that odd sinking feeling in his stomach, part anxious worry, part dizzying anticipation.  Because there was only one big problem.  
Ellis Hawkes was psychotic, paranoid schizophrenic, self-harming, just about as crazy as ‘crazy’ would ever get, and _exactly his type._   Every time so far, Nick had stopped anything from escalating beyond Ellis acting innocently seductive.  He’d tried to defuse every situation without either outright denying Ellis the closeness he clearly needed to calm down or betraying his own professionalism.  But he didn’t know how long he’d manage to _not_ get drawn into those heated, needy, _goddamn wonderful_ kisses or hugs or…

With a curse, Nick turned around and headed back for his office.  He needed a drink before he headed out for his week of vacation.

 

“…Doctor Delaney!!  Doctor Delaney!!”  Nick looked up just as he walked to his car to find his ward’s night nurse running up to him, looking panicked.  Her entire front was smudged with something pale green and smelling like mildewed bread.

“Chrissy, what-“, he started, but even before he could finish his question, she answered it.

“Ellis, it’s Ellis, he’s having a seizure!”  Before Nick realized he’d run inside again after her, he was already pushing open the door to the ward again and running to his office, heading inside the door next to it where two of the other nurses were holding the southerner down on the bed as he shivered and thrashed.  A sour smell hung around the room – and a few specks of vomit lay on the bedsheets, some dribbling down it onto the ground, but apparently the majority of it had hit Chrissy.

“Jesus…  Call an ambulance!”, Nick said to one of the nurses, running back into his office, to the cabinet in there where he had an emergency supply of tranquilizers.  Taking one syringe, he ran back to his patient’s room and injected it into his arm, after which slowly but surely the thrashing turned to restless tossing and turning and then stopped completely.  Nick exhaled a relieved sigh and relaxed against the wall.

“Ambulance’ll be here in five minutes…”, the night nurse said as she re-entered, her soiled uniform still smelling vile and looking horrid, but Nick appreciated her coming in first to notify them.

“Thanks.  Situation’s under control here.  You go and freshen up and then tend to the patients that woke up from the noise, I’ll stay here and make sure the paramedics get Ellis to the hospital allright.”

“But doctor Delaney, it’s your week off!  We can’t-“

“I’m the only one he trusts.  If he wakes up to doctor Parks or even to you, Chrissy, he’ll be having another seizure before you know it.”  The nurses quieted down after that, no longer protesting – because they knew it was true.  Ellis had been there three months so far, and he didn’t trust anyone but Nick – even the nurses met with distrust, where usually the inpatients trusted them before the doctors.  Ellis seemed to break a lot of rules – and, in a way, he inspired that in Nick as well, because some of the things Nick had done to calm him down had bordered on abuse of his doctor-patient relationship with the southerner.  Like hold him as he slept, and not report his aberrant behavior…

Nick sighed, running his hand over his face, suddenly weary as he looked the southerner over.  Even unconscious, he still managed to make his heart race, and suddenly giving up a day of his week off didn’t seem so bad anymore.

 

“Nnnnn…”  The weak moan drew Nick’s attention, and he looked to the hospital bed, yawning slightly.  The hospital was deserted – as it should be, at 3AM.  Not even the nurses had bothered him in the past hour.  “Uuuugh…”  Sure enough, Ellis was stirring, his brow knotting and unknotting, wincing against even the feeble light of the bedside lamp.  “N-nick?”

“Ellis?  How’re you feeling?”

“Y-yew came back from yer vacation fer me?”, he asked, his voice hoarse and somewhat pained, and Nick shrugged.

“No… uhm, no, I’m not on duty but I offered to watch you overnight.  The doctors and nurses here agreed – anything so they don’t have to stay up all night, damn lazy asses…”, he ground out, and Ellis smiled that unusual, somewhat over-the-top smile of his.  Suddenly, Nick realized that he hadn’t explained anything that had happened to the southerner, so he carefully started by asking if he knew where he was.

“…A-ahm in th’hospital?  Like, where yew work at?”, Ellis said, but then he looked around and he whimpered.  “B-but this ain’t my room, doctor Nick!  W-where is this?  D-did the zombies-“

“No, Ellis, it wasn’t the zombies.”, Nick said hastily, and where normally Ellis didn’t give up without a struggle, now his southern patient just relaxed and sighed.

“…Ah… ah thought so, the-they ain’t here… they’s quiet tonight, Nick, real quiet… y-yew scared ‘em off, ah’m sure…”, he said, and Nick gave a soft nod, unwilling to argue.

“You had a seizure – the doctors here are still looking into the why and the how, because when they examined your brain and your heart, they found nothing wrong with you, but-“  There was a glint of remorse in Ellis’ eyes that Nick caught – just a little bit of guilt, a tiny morsel of regret for something he’d done, and he sighed.  “…You’re not surprised, Ellis… mind telling me what happened?  I won’t get mad at you… I just want to know what happened and why.”  The southerner hesitated, looking himself over, and then he exhaled, his eyes tearing up slightly and his eyes distant.  And slowly, in bits and pieces, the story unfolded itself, words spilling from the hick’s lips, painting the entire picture for Nick.

“A-ah… them vitamin pills yew give me each an’ ev’ry day… ah… yew were leavin’ me, Nick, a-an’ ah thought it was maybe ‘cause ah ha’n’t been takin’ them vitamin pills anymore, ah’d jus’ been putting ‘em away in mah toothbrush case, a-an’ they upset mah stomach, Nick, but ah didn’t wan’ yew tuh leave me…”  Nick sighed and shook his head, but Ellis turned away, his fingernails raking over his arms.  “Y-yew’re mad, ain’t yew?  Mad ‘cause ah should’a taken mah vitamin pills-“

“Ellis, it doesn’t matter now whether you took them or not, and I’m not mad.  But please, please, don’t ever do that again, those vitamin pills are, uh, too strong to take more than two at a time of…”, Nick admonished.  It’d probably be the lithium, he mused – that could trigger seizures even in mediocre overdosage – and as he rose to go tell the nurses that, Ellis placed his hand on his arm to stop him.

“N-nick, ah jus’… didn’t want yew tuh leave me… d-don’t give me to the zombies… don’t let ‘em take me…”  It sounded feeble, and helpless, but utterly sincere, and Nick turned to find his charge sitting upright in his bed, looking about ready to cry, so he did the first thing that came to mind and pulled him in for a hug.

“…I won’t let anyone take you, Ellis, you know that.  Not even now.  But that was a stupid thing to do, okay?  If you want me to stick with you, if you want me to keep visiting you even on my days off, just _ask_ next time, allright?”  Ellis nodded and just snuggled in closer, and Nick relaxed.

But then, Ellis’ lips started to plant wet kisses along his neck again, and he tensed up for a whole new reason.  His body, weary as it was, didn’t pause a second in responding to a touch so intimate and soft and inviting – his fingers started to slowly run over Ellis’ back, his head subconsciously leaning to the side to expose more of his skin for the southerner, and a soft moan issued from his throat.  Nick’s weary mind wasn’t helping either, making his protests sound feeble and without spirit.

“N-no, Ellis… w-we… this can’t happen, you know that… you’re not like that, you told me so yourself…”, he said, to no avail.  Ellis kept on kissing, kept on breathing out hotly over his exposed skin, and his heartrate kept on rising, his body kept on heating up…  “ _Ellis… s-shit, stop…_ ”

“N-no, ah… ah can’’… ah can’’ let’chu go, Nick… ah want yew tuh stay.  Promise me yew is gonna stay… promise me yeh’ll hold me…”

“I-I… I promise, Ellis, but _god_ , you can’t… you…”  It was no use – even as he protested, his hands pulled his patient against him, and even as he said ‘you can’t’, his own lips started to lightly brush over Ellis’ cheek and jawline, and the slight whimper his patient gave was more than enough fuel for his body to crush any remaining resistance, shove aside any feeble reason not to go for it, and just _let this happen finally._   With another moan, this time less soft, he gave in, leaning into his patient, and Ellis seemed to realize that his resistance had finally crumbled to dust because he started to gently suck on the skin of his neck, whispering his name softly.

“Niiick…”  Just a whisper, no more than a breath, but it was so much more than just his name.  It was a plea for him to stay, for him to not leave, for him to _never_ leave, and Nick couldn’t resist even if he wanted to.

“…I’m here… and I’ll stay…”, he said, and then somehow Ellis managed to press against him, tentatively but with that definite eagerness he’d had before.  “…Oh god, Ellis…”, Nick groaned, trying desperately to get a grip on himself again.  Only this time, he wasn’t trying to pull away.  He wasn’t trying to safeguard his professional ethics or his patient’s fragile mental balance.  This time, he was trying to safeguard _themselves_.  They were jumping into this so eagerly, so completely, that maybe they weren’t thinking about the consequences – well, Nick knew the consequences and for once he was fully prepared to face them, however harsh they might be, but did Ellis know what it meant for them to go beyond just not-so-innocent kisses and touches?  “A-are you sure…?  I-if you don’t w-want this… _w-want me…_   I m-miiiiight not be able to s-st-stop myself…”

Ellis’ only answer was an impatient whimper and a very certain press of his lips to Nick’s, and whatever reluctance Nick felt was gone, swept away, as he leaned against the southerner.  It was like his body was on fire with need, like every ounce of frustration he’d felt whenever his patient had behaved inappropriately was now thrumming in his veins again.  All the times he’d had to take five minutes before leaving his office after a visit to Ellis to cool down, all the times when he’d taken to self-gratification with the image of what could never be before his mind’s eye… it was as if those had never happened, leaving only the fire and the need and the pure _unbearable tension_ that moved him to kiss hungrily down Ellis’ neck, drawing more whimpers and needful little moans from his charge.

“N-niiiiiiiiick, awh, Niiiiiiiiick, p-puhlease…”, Ellis pleaded, and Nick groaned.  Ellis’ voice was fuelling him, getting him to move – pushing Ellis further away on the bed and getting onto it himself before once again pulling the hick toward himself.  Every second, every touch – for Ellis had his hands all over him as well now, his fingers pressing into his back and his sides and his shoulders, keeping him close, which in turn caused their limbs to occasionally rub together, and the friction was killing him.  “ _Ahhw g-gaaaawd, Nick…_ ”, the southerner moaned the next minute, somewhere between Nick pulling his hospital gown up and the man losing his own shirt.  Nick wasn’t even aware of being half-naked until Ellis’ fingertips brushed over his stomach and there wasn’t any cloth to stop him from feeling just how work-hardened those digits were.  He moaned as well.

“Elliiiiiiiiis… ohh _Jesus…_ ”  ‘Need’ was an understatement.  He was consumed by a hunger that he hadn’t ever felt before, a need above all that was sane and right and reasonable – a need that he could only fulfill, a hunger that he could only quell, with the hick that now ground his very obvious erection very persistently against his hip.  He knew what he was doing, knew that he should stop…

But he’d rather face hell for doing it with Ellis now than try and deny himself what he needed so badly another second longer.

“Niiiick… ah... ah want… waaaaaaant’chu…”, Ellis stammered, his breath coming in rapid little pants, his eyes darkened with passion, that southern drawl heated and needy and his body burning up with something worse than the harshest fever.  Nick was in the same situation, sweating and panting and needy and lust-crazed – and when he did away with Ellis’ underwear, earning him a whimper from the hick and another mind-blowing kiss, he didn’t hesitate anymore.  He didn’t think anymore.  Ellis somehow managed to get his fly undone and his underwear pulled down just enough to expose him and-

“ _Oh f-fuck, Elliiiiiis…_ ”  Vaguely, he was aware of Ellis’ gasp as he started stroking him, stroking them both – but the feeling of Ellis’ hand closing around his own and speeding his strokes up did not escape him.  They kissed messily, moaning into each other’s mouths, giving as they took and not even parting long enough to catch their breath.  They were so desperate to sate themselves and each other, so focused on their mutual needs and the passion linking them even as they knew it’d rise only to fall and shatter… and then Ellis’ hips twitched and the hick shivered and came messily over their joined hands, just a few seconds before Nick moaned loudly into their kiss and added his own fluids to the mess they’d made.  They lay, unmoving, lips still touching and hands still linked.  And then Ellis whimpered.

“N-niiick, ah’m tired an’ ah hurt a-an’ ah’m scared’a this room… it ain’t safe… why’d ah let yew take me here?”  Ellis’ hand slowly started to pull away from Nick’s, moving first to pull his underwear up again and then to lay against his bare chest, and Nick sighed.  All the consequences he’d face for this… he’d been sure about being up to it before, but now?  Now that the ethics commission suddenly seemed a lot closer?  He felt anxious, afraid – for both himself and Ellis – and even somewhat disgusted with  himself for not being stronger.  For not being able to tell the hick ‘no’.  But he pushed all that away to move his own soiled hand to Ellis’ shoulder, meaning to distance himself from his patient again.

“It’ll be okay, Ellis… it’ll be okay, I’ll keep you safe, I promise…”  Apparently, the hick’s psychosis-free bubble had burst again, and the ‘zombies’ were back with a vengeance.  He should’ve figured that the exertion would trigger it again.  But then, to his utter surprise, Ellis chuckled and nodded.

“Yew do a lot more ‘n just keepin’ me safe… _doctor Niiiiiick…_ ”  It was said almost longingly, and Nick looked over his charge.

“…Ellis, I, uh… I may not be able to be your doctor anymore a-after this…  But if you want, I can still be everything else.  I know you said you’re not like that, but-“  Just as he started to explain himself, his patient interrupted him.

“Nick, c-can’t yew be mah doctor _and_ ev’rythin’ else?  A-ah mean, we was real quiet an’ all, a-an’ nobody needs tuh know, right?  M-maybe it can be our li’l secret?”  Nick licked his lips and looked at his patient.  He’d always considered professionalism one of the highest ideals, and he’d always frowned upon doctors that misused their power over patients for purposes like their own gratification… but this was different, wasn’t it?  This… this was just as much Ellis wanting him as it was him wanting Ellis…

And with a smile, Nick nodded at his patient and pushed aside the silly notion that it was wrong to want Ellis.  After all, Ellis Hawkes was more than just psychotic, paranoid schizophrenic, self-harming, just about as crazy as ‘crazy’ would ever get – he was also _his partner._


End file.
